Jonathan P. Baird

Back on May 6, 1995, my son Josh had his bar mitzvah. It happened at Temple Beth Jacob in Concord NH. Temple Beth Jacob is a reform Jewish congregation. In the service, I made a speech to Josh. I had lost the speech but my friend Sue told me she had a copy. So I wanted to share it.

Josh: first of all, I want to tell you how proud I am of you and your Bar Mitzvah efforts. You have worked hard to learn Hebrew, the prayers, chanting and everything that made today possible. I want to acknowledge and praise your hard work.The effort that went into today reflects not days or weeks of effort but many months. And a lot of driving.

I also want to let you know that I am proud of the person you have become. Your warmth, sense of humor, sense of justice, self-possession, musical sense and outspokenness are wonderful qualities. You have sensitivity to the feelings of others. You are a good person. – that means the most to me. You also have a good batting eye.

I also would like to thanks Rabbi Soltz. His seriousness and perseverance helped promote the self-discipline required for today.

I want to say a couple things to you today. Most importantly, always be proud of being Jewish. The Jewish tradition is a noble and beautiful tradition. I hope you do not consider your Bar Mitzvah as an end of your Jewish education. Judaism has wisdom about how to live and what to live for. I think that sense of the religion has been lost to us and that’s bad. There is a great poet named Muriel Rukeyser who wrote about Judaism. In a poem entitled Letter to the Front, she wrote:

To be a Jew in the twentieth century
Is to be offered a gift. If you refuse,
Wishing to be invisible, you choose
Death of the spirit, the stone insanity.
Accepting, take full life. Full agonies:
Your evening deep in labyrinthine blood
Of those who resist, fail, and resist: and God
Reduced to a hostage among hostages.

The gift is torment. Not alone the still
Torture, isolation; or torture of the flesh.
That may come also. But the accepting wish,
The whole and fertile spirit as guarantee
For every human freedom, suffering to be free,
Daring to live for the impossible.

I lost interest in Judaism in my teens because, at the time, it did not speak to me. For 20 years or so, I remained away from it, not because it was too different from American society, but because it was too similar. I now realize that what I rejected was only negative aspects associated with one type of suburban Judaism. Judaism is not a quaint relic, vulgar materialism, spiritual emptiness, sexism or political conservatism. It is up to Jews like you to absorb the tradition and create a more dynamic Judaism.

There is no one authority in Judaism that provides easy answers to questions. You have to decide how to be Jewish because it is really true that every Jew is now a Jew by choice.

There’s an old Jewish story about the dilemma of what constitutes the Jewish tradition. The story goes like this:

Once there was a synagogue that had been without a rabbi for some 20 years. The synagogue was on the verge of being torn apart by arguments about how to do some of the central prayer rituals. Finally, out of desperation, they sent a delegation to the old rabbi who had retired some 20 years before, to inquire what the tradition really was supposed to be. Each side presented their case, denouncing the other side for distorting the true tradition. After they had concluded, the rabbi asked if it was true that each side was sure their way was right. ”Yes” both sides responded, “And both sides seem to think that the other side is deeply mistaken and is about to ruin everything should their views prevail?” asked the rabbi. “Yes” both sides responded. “The other side is going to distort the truth and ruin the community. So what is the tradition?” The rabbi had no problem. “The state of affairs you describe in our synagogue – That is the tradition.”

In that spirit, your doubts about the existence of God are very Jewish. I would encourage you to voice your feelings and have doubts. Judaism is compatible with intellectual integrity.

I also wanted to recognize that your Bar Mitzvah reflects the fact that you are growing up and have turned 13. It’s not easy to grow up and do the right thing day in and day out. I honestly think life is harder now than when I grew up. There are many bad models for how to be a man and boys need men to keep them heading in positive directions.

I want you to know that I will be here for you. I want you to feel like you can ask me questions whether it’s about school, friends or sex. I will try and answer them. Possibly, I am out of it but it wasn’t too long ago when I used to think I was hip. What advice can I give you that is of lasting value. Let me quote from another poet, a favorite of mine, Walt Whitman:

“This is what you shall do: Love the earth and
sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms
to everyone that asks, stand up for the
stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor
to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning
God, have patience and indulgence toward the
people, take off your hat to nothing known or
unknown or to any man or number of men, go
freely with powerful uneducated persons and
with the young and with the mothers of families,
read these leaves in the open air every season
of every year of your life, re-examine all you
have been told at school or church or in any
book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul,
and your very flesh shall be a great poem and
have the richest fluency not only in its words
but in the silent lines of its lips and face
and between the lashes of your eyes and in
every motion and joint of your body…”

I look forward to watching you grow into the fine man I know you will become. I love you and am very proud of you.